She Will Be Loved (Part 1)
by BeyondFromHere
Summary: At eighteen, Kira has always felt like an outcast. She has never really liked herself and has a hard time making friends. Can Kira put her life together the way she wants it? Can Kira make a friendship and keep it? Will Kira ever find self worth? Find out in this inspiring two part FanFiction story!


Having suicidal thoughts is nothing to joke about, especially when you end up in the mental ward of a hospital.

It all started one day of high school on a very cold day of October. Everything seemed fine. The day went on like usual. Just me feeling dreary and lonely! Eventually I was walking alone in a winding hallway, when one of the students just stood there staring at me, giving me a weird look. That shouldn't of set me off, until someone else started whispering to that student. From that moment it was talk among talk and glare among glare. I just tried to ignore them all.

I went home that night and decided to check my social media accounts. I found an especially interesting status about me by accident. I found out that people were typing about me, sharing that I was adopted. Everyone was finding out that I was adopted, but they were also saying that they could see why my birth parents wouldn't want me. They continued to say that it was a miracle that someone actually wanted me. Someone even commented that they bet that I was really cheap to of actually got adopted. I got bullied all the time in school, but this was the absolute worse. I only told one person that I was adopted that I thought was my friend, but now I had no friends that I knew of.

I could of had it a lot worse I realize, but day after day, having years of bullying and harassment in the past, taking pill after pill for anxiety and depression, seeing counselor after counselor, making appointments with Psychiatrist after Psychiatrist, and having all these current and old scars on my wrists, I just couldn't take it anymore. I wanted a way out. I wanted a way out of the world. I wanted a way out of this life.

My family was great. Well, my foster family was anyways. I was put up for adoption, since I was a baby as far as I know. I was an only child all my life. I struggled for years trying to find a foster family growing up, so my childhood wasn't something I wanted to remember though.

My name's Kira. Currently, I'm eighteen years old. I'm almost done with my senior year of high school. My school's okay. Well, my school staff is anyways. They seem to care somewhat. It's just the students. I don't make friends easily and the friends I were able to make betrayed me, so I feel alone at school, but at least my grades are good I guess.

For some reason, I never seem to feel beautiful. I can look in a mirror all I want and tell myself good things, but I couldn't get myself to believe them. Hopefully this will change eventually. All I was ever taught is to make others feel beautiful. I just wanted world peace, but like that will ever happen. I just had to treat others with as much kindness as I could offer, no matter what they did to me. All I've ever wanted is to be known as a great person, but no matter how nice I was to people, no one ever wanted to pay attention to it.

This day in particular was one of the worst days of my life. When I got home from school, the first thing I did was threaten to my parents that I was going to overdose, which was a big mistake. I was mad and hurt. My parents didn't know about the cutting, but they knew about everything else. I always wore a long sleeved jacket over my outfits. My parents just thought it was self-esteem related, which was probably part of it. I usually never tried to threaten anything though, unless I meant it and my parents knew that I meant it. They called the police and of course, an ambulance came. I was in a hospital room for about seven hours before I was admitted. I had to change in a hospital gown, with of course, short sleeves. I was in a panic. I told one of the nurses that I couldn't wear this and they said it was one of their policies. I basically had no choice. They had to check my regular clothes to see if I could use of any of it to harm myself. I didn't even have make-up on me to cover up with. This was really horrible.

I finally changed, but stayed in my assigned bedroom and refused to leave it. The nurses were getting very annoyed with me. I could tell. By now, they knew I cut and of course, they had to tell my parents. Could things get any worse? I can't go out in a hospital gown seen by a bunch of strangers. I just can't.

It was the next morning and I finally came out of my assigned bedroom for the breakfast the hospital served. It's not really that fantastic, but it'll do I guess.

I came out and saw the other patients eating their breakfast. I felt like I was going to choke. I don't want anyone to see my scars. I felt naked. I felt very naked.

Everyone started smiling and tried to talk to me at the breakfast table. I just tried to politely smile back.

One guy shook my hand and said, "Hi! I'm Derek!"

"Nice to meet you! I'm Kira!" I replied.

A lady introduced herself also by saying, "I'm Abigail! Things will get better. I promise!"

That's a big thing to promise, I thought.

The third patient was another guy. He just glanced up at me and smiled. He then went back to eating. He was cute though, I had to admit. He had short, dark brown hair and light colored, white skin with possibly blue eyes. I couldn't quite tell. Me on the other hand, I felt ugly, with brown hair and brown eyes, with my pale, white skin.

"That's Caleb!" Abigail said, when she noticed me glance at him.

"Yep! That's what they call me," Caleb said.

I then ended up grinning at him and he grinned back.

"What are you here for?" Abigail asked.

"Oh! Just had some bad thoughts," I said.

"You're suicidal, right? Yeah! Us too! I think that's why everyone comes here. It'll get better. Just remember that!" Abigail replied.

I just frowned and continued to eat my breakfast.

Next, was my visit with the doctor, to find out when I could go back home. The doctor was okay and decided I could leave in three days. Three days? Might as well leave me here for the rest of my life!

I sat down and began to watch TV with the others. Caleb was really quiet I noticed. He basically looked all relaxed and calm, but didn't really talk to anyone that much.

I finally started to get used to this place with all the support groups we had to go to and worst of all, visitor hours. I didn't want my parents to see me this way. They might not even visit though, I hope, but I was wrong as usual.

When my parents visited, there was an awkward silence at first. My mom eventually reached out and hugged me to tell me that things are going to get better. My dad told me that my mom and him weren't mad and that they were never mad. This didn't make anything okay though.

After my parents left, I started to tear up from anger.

Caleb walked over and said, "Are you okay?"

I responded, "I will be! Thanks!"

Caleb then said, "No problem!"

He then started to walk away, but then suddenly turned around and came back to me.

He said, "Hey! When we get out of this place, you can always call me if you need someone to talk to if that's okay."

I said, "Yeah! That's fine I guess."

Caleb quickly replied, "You don't have to!"

I gently replied, "It's fine. I can take your number just in case."

I smiled at him.

Caleb then grabbed a random piece of paper and wrote his phone number on it and slid it to me.

He gently said, "I'm always available. Don't ever be afraid to call."

I said, "Okay! Thanks!"

We both smiled at each other before he walked off again. I then went to hide his phone number in my assigned bedroom, so that I didn't lose it. Caleb seemed kind and so... put together. I wondered how someone like him could end up in a place like this.

Later that night, I started playing a game of cards with the rest of the patients. I was always curious how old Caleb was, since he looked so... young. I decided to ask.

"Caleb! If you don't mind, how old are you anyways?" I asked.

Caleb answered, "Nineteen! How old are you?"

"I'm eighteen," I said.

It was the start of a beautiful friendship, until Caleb went home the next morning.

As the days went on, it was just board game after board game and support group after support group, until the day that I was finally able to go home. My parents picked me up at the hospital and I went home still holding Caleb's phone number.

When I got home, the first thing I did was take a shower and changed clothes. After I finished getting ready for a day of freedom from the hospital, I decided to call Caleb, hoping it wasn't too soon.

"Hello!" Caleb said, when answering his phone.

"Hi!" I said, "It's Kira."

"Oh! Hey! How's it going?" Caleb said.

"Alright, but I was curious! Where do you live? I don't have many friends and I was hoping we could hang out sometime. I know it's a stretch, but I was just hoping..." I trailed off, when Caleb interrupted me.

"Hey! It's okay. I get it. I don't have many friends either. I live near Springfield, Illinois," Caleb said.

"That's crazy, because that's where I live," I said.

"Really! Great!" Caleb responded.

I then gave him my address and it turns out he really didn't live that far away from me. It was, like, walking distance.

Caleb came over later that day and I introduced my new friend to my parents. My parents seemed to enjoy him and we found out we had a lot in common. We both liked to watch comedy movies and we liked to hang out at the local mall.

I followed Caleb to the park that day and had one of the greatest times of my life. I felt alive. I felt content. I couldn't stop smiling around him.

Caleb was actually pushing me on the swing, as silly as that sounds. He was very funny and was always cracking jokes, but he still had a serious side.

As Caleb was walking me home, he said, "I don't know if this is too soon to ask, but how did you end up in the hospital? I mean, I'll tell you if you tell me."

"You first!" I said.

"Alright! I have a problem of running my mouth when I'm angry and threatening things I would never do. It's a bad habit, but I told my mom that I was going to tie a plastic bag over my head, so that I could never see the daylight again basically. We were in this huge fight and we don't get along that well, but anyways, I learned my lesson I think and hopefully I never talk like that again. I want to inspire, not destroy. Now, it's your turn," Caleb said.

"Well, I told my parents that I was going to overdose. I actually meant it and I actually get along with my parents. I love them, but I feel lost at school and I'm tired of everyone staring," I said, starting to cry.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know. I shouldn't of asked. I guess I get too nosy," Caleb said.

"It's okay! Don't worry about it!" I said.

"It's actually not okay, since I honestly don't see anything wrong with you. You're beautiful and I can't believe I even got the pleasure of meeting you. Seriously! I mean it!" Caleb said.

He turned to face me and I caught a glimpse of his eyes. He really did mean it. I started to wipe my eyes. I told him that I he didn't need to say that, but he insisted that it needed to be said.

"Let me know if I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable though. I don't want you to ever feel uncomfortable around me," Caleb said, as he gently put his hand on my back and started to gently rub it in a comforting motion. I don't know what came over me, but I started to put my head on his shoulder and that's how it all started.


End file.
